It's a little lonely, but I don't feel that it was a horrible experience. In my case, my mother was a first-generation immigrant. Do your research and see the differences between only children and multiple children and see which works better for you,. As readers will see, despite having an only child in common, these parents’ reasons, observations, thoughts and feelings are varied and distinct. From a young age, my parents forced me to make choices. On the other hand, I didn't care growing up because I already had siblings, but if it were only only me, I'd probably be very sad. That’s enough to make anyone reconsider questioning a parent of one child. I have a nephew who is 15 and also an only child, so my brother and I try to get the kids together as often as possible so they have a close bond. According to the Office for National Statistics, in 2017 55% of lone-parent families had just one dependent child, as did 51% of cohabiting parents. The stereotypes about only children being bratty and nasty and not being able to share is also bullshit we learn to share in school just like any other child just because we don’t share with children in our household does not mean we don’t know how to share with others. I think my point is that all the pros and cons of being and only child relate to me as one of three but I got the added bonus of siblings. I didn't get over sibling rivalry/hate until I was 17 or 18, developed adult perspective, and moved out of the house. I pretty much only interact with my finance and parents (outside of work) and I am highly satisfied. Better yet, strong parental relationships can mitigate some of the more negative traits people tend to associate with only children. Controlling parents are those who, simply, "don’t leave space for their children to have their own emotional experience and develop a sense of autonomy." I'm also an only child and could have written this exact response. The mix of young people in China offers a broad pool of candidates for this area of research, owing to the nation's long-lasting one-child policy, which limited many but not all families to only raising a single child in between 1979 and 2015. 42 old only child here. I’m sorry I’ve gone on a really long rant but I feel like it just need to be said please if you’re a parent of an only child look back on our sub history look back on the of thousands of times with answered this and do your own research into what it’s like to have an only child instead of just assuming you’re ruining their lives because you’re really not. Only children generally get much more help and support from their parents. Rejected parents have few places to turn. And you’ll often notice people saying that they were happy as children and it only cropped up when they were in adolescence or older that they started to notice the loneliness and I agree I was around 13 or 14 years old when I started to feel a bit lonely but it didn’t fully hit me until I went off to university and lived by myself for the first time and I had a mild depression as I was alone but I feel like that could apply to anybody in my situation. This is caused great suffering and sexual, psychological, and career abuse. I am an only child and have been my entire life, my parents divorced when I was 11 years old and I had a stepdad who just recently passed away but he didn’t have any children either so once again I was on my own and with a sort of broken family. I'm also an only child. I can’t speak for all only children but I was raised to be very self-reliant. So much so that the only child is cornered into playing ‘multiple roles and tasks’ to fulfill his parents varied expectations. It is really hard. Closing thoughts for parents. Yes he’s got aunts and uncles but I can’t imagine how he moves forward from that alone. Yet that's probably impractical. While reassuring, the numbers also make plain why this one specific type of loss is so feared, so painful, and so stigmatized. “An only child might be selfish and spoiled, but so might a child with siblings.” There are certain anxieties parents have about an only child being deprived of social abilities. The result: only children copy adult behavior and adult speech patterns, developing good reasoning skills early on. Telling others your adult child only comes around when he or she needs something, or refuses to … I was hesitant to have one and now that we have one I love her dearly, there's nothing like coming home to her running up and giving me a hug welcoming me home. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting. Better yet, strong parental relationships can mitigate some of the more negative traits people tend to associate with only children. Thought about whether there should be one sub for onlies who struggle and if people don't want to look at it they wouldn't have to. As an adult the thing I don't like about being an only child is all the memories other people have of growing up with siblings, things that I can't and won't ever be able to relate to. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Whatever, I scored 98th. It is the consistency from both parents in providing love, quality time, structure, guidance, and discipline in their homes that has helped Kate adjust well to the divorce. My daughter had been a surprise and I am not with her father anymore. My parents had me in their late 30s and had less than average income. I am happy with one but she warms more and is pressuring me. I get very annoyed by the amount of parents I see on this sub asking the same questions every week about five times talking about how they’re damning their children to a life of solitude which is just insane to me because if you ever have met an only child the stereotype just isn’t true we just like anybody else and I don’t know why people think we’re not. It's NBD as an adult, but as a child you have to learn to enjoy your own company, doesn't stop that feeling of loneliness even if you have loads of toys. I am very close to my parents particularly my mum and don't think we could be closer even if I was an only child. They tried for years and nothing. But overall I don't see a problem with having an only child. Couples who had one child, was it a mutual decision to have only one kid? Not sure if there's a perfect solution. • Christmas: being the only child on Christmas is kind of magical, you don’t have to share anything with anyone and you know that all those presents are for you (assuming your family celebrates Christmas not everybody does obviously), there is a Certain level of euphoria as you get to be close to your family now more than any other time of the year. I have many cousins; one cousin that I am particularly close with and we share all the family stories and experiences. Myth #3: Only children are spoiled. I am an only child. Growing up, when others (those with siblings) find out that I'm an only child, they would tell me that "I'm lucky".When someone were to say these words to me, I feel sad at times, because I personally wish to have siblings everyday. She is happy, well-adjusted for the most part. He scored 87th percentile on the standardized test this year? The only child’s primary role models are parents. Bad news. ‍♀️. Only child syndrome signs. Filter and/or block chosen sites or apps with your broadband provider. We should all be able to openly discuss our experiences as onlies here, whether positive or negative. It has curves, bumps and uturns. My wife and I waited till our late thirties to have a kid, married 10 years this year. I constantly go back and forth on being a “one and done” ( I am in that sub as well). Agreed. “An only child might be selfish and spoiled, but so might a child with siblings.” There are certain anxieties parents have about an only child being deprived of social abilities. I live about an hour and a half away from them and I feel like I spend half of my time driving down there to do stuff for them. So be gentle with the child of a narcissistic parent – they’re disclosing things at a slower rate than most because they are trying to protect themselves from annihilation. • Holidays: now holidays can be a bit controversial in the only child sub but I say there is a positive, you get to go around with your parents enjoying more adult things that you wouldn’t normally experience at a younger age such as going to certain restaurants and attractions and being able to fully enjoy yourself with your parents and enjoying that time (I’ll get to the negatives in a minute). I agree. I haven't posted anything here about the negative aspects of having my only child (adult son now). This makes only children slightly more skilled at problem-solving due to their creativity. Imagine fighting them every day. Families are getting smaller giving parents more time to devote to each child. 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